We felt the need to write this article based on our experience working with an increasing number of children, young people aged 8–18 and their families every year. We are witnesses and choose not to be silent witnesses to the suffering of young people who are sexually dissatisfied.
Teenagers in adolescence experience a multifaceted change physically, socially and emotionally. In this period, the increase in sex hormones and the masculine or feminine bodily changes caused by them become visible from the outside and increase the sexual interest and desire of adolescents. For an adolescent who cares a lot about how his appearance is perceived by others, these signs that clearly reveal his gender are very important. Physical changes in cisgender male adolescents, including growing beards, bifurcated voices, or prominent body lines and breasts in girls, can be enjoyable and overtly or implicitly flattering changes for these teens. The same developments are dire for trans and non-binary youth.

Trans teens

Trans youth face more discrimination and violence than their cisgender peers at different levels. Serious depression, anxiety, eating disorders, substance use and many other mental problems can occur, including the risk of suicide. As they do not feel comfortable and safe at school due to the discrimination and violence they are exposed to, their success may decrease, they may leave school early, they are exposed to peer bullying and social isolation more than cisgender people.

First step: family and school

At the first stage of the adjustment process, it is important that children and adolescents who are dissatisfied with their gender understand and understand this situation themselves. Discovering and recognizing one’s identity can then bring about social opening, starting from safe environments. Naturally, the first steps of social opening take place in the family and in schools. In order for the family and school environment to be sensitive and not to hinder the child’s development, appropriate steps should be taken for the benefit of the child. On the contrary, family and school rejection, denial and not allowing young people to discover themselves — even physical, psychological and economic punishment — will lead to deepening of gender dissatisfaction and increase in mental distress. This situation can cause young people to blame themselves, feel ashamed of themselves, social isolation and mental problems extending into their adult lives.

Education and educators

Like cisgender teens, gender-disgruntled teens need role models. A teenager’s lack of visible role models isolates them and increases the risk of depression and even suicide. Parents of young people also need to see and listen to families in similar situations. The presence of gender-dissatisfied youth in institutions and schools that work with young people of educational age is more of a surprise than it is a surprise.. It should develop policies on the do’s and don’ts in primary and secondary education regarding the approach to people with gender dysphoria. Educators should obtain scientific information objectively and clearly and be aware of developments. Although there are few schools that give priority to the best interests of young people and approach ethical principles with respect and sensitivity, unfortunately, young people other than cisgender are generally ignored and discrimination can be encountered in these schools.

Different processes

Not all children with gender dysphoria experience this process the same. Gender identity and gender expression can have deep intersections with other aspects of identity. These aspects may include race/ethnicity, age, education, socioeconomic status, immigration status, disability, sexual orientation, relationship status, and religion and/or spiritual affiliation. Some of these identity aspects may offer privilege, while others may increase stigma and inhibition. Young people with gender dysphoria are at risk of experiencing anti-trans prejudices and discrimination in educational settings. As a result of non-implementation of gender diversity policies in schools, transgender youth become open targets for bullying and attacks in schools.

Support in all conditions

In the presence of school policies that support LGBTI+s, the likelihood of feeling threatened, suicidal behavior and drug/stimulant use at school decreases among LGBTI+ students. Social attitudes and approaches in early childhood differ according to the child and the family. Some childhoods want to openly display their gender role changes before puberty, and some families experiencing this can successfully manage the process with appropriate professional support. While children choose to open up in some of their social environments, they may prefer not to share their identities in others. Thus, social transition is not static but dynamic; It is personal and follows step by step. One of the duties of the trainers is to closely observe the process and ensure the safety of the child. To support children under all circumstances, to respect children’s rights, Creating safe spaces, being able to oppose all kinds of hate speech, having knowledge about sexuality and sexual development, not imposing the lifestyles we adopt in line with our own culture and beliefs on children, accepting differences and getting help from experts, if necessary, are among the things educators can do. (In order to obtain more detailed information and develop strategies, the “” published by Kaos GL”How Should We Protect LGBTI+ Students Against Family and School Clamping ?” We recommend that you refer to the manual.)

Families’ acceptance processes

Unlike other minorities, sexual minorities are also a “minority” within the family. For example, an Armenian living in Turkey is not ostracized by the family, even though he is a minority in the country, because his family members are also Armenians, and can express his culture and identity more comfortably, at least within the family. However, unlike other minority groups , trans adolescents are often implicitly or explicitly oppressed and excluded within their families .. Aside from the difficulties of being dissatisfied with their gender, trans people who are exposed to discriminatory attitudes and behaviors by their family members and who are forced to carry the characteristics of the gender assigned at birth, start to experience more conflict with their families due to the uneasiness they experience against the development of secondary gender characters, especially during adolescence. Family members who are open to new information and who can prioritize their children’s happiness and health over their own concerns, by providing the support they need in this process, also lay the foundation for their children to be healthy adults in the future.
Parents seek information to understand what their child is going through and how to best respond to it. Ideally, they should support their children, try to get used to this process and recognize their children’s needs. Although there may be difficult times, parents can gain a new perspective on the situation. Acceptance that includes full adoption of your children may take years. In fact, it is useful to remind parents of children with gender dysphoria for general recommendations that are appropriate for all children: “Accept and love your child”, “question traditional attitudes”, “create a safe space for your child”, “try to understand your child’s desires and needs”. …
While the parent’s approach and attitude are of primary importance here, the acceptance and support of extended family members and relatives are also important for the child.