Compassion

A conscious relationship is not made up of toe people free of their past. A conscious relationship is created by two people who have studied their pasts and understand what patterns contributed to the dysfunction of the former relationship. When we pick a partner, we pick their story. So as a conscious person in relationship, we are not only responsible for our chaotic inner child, but we are also responsible for helping our partner get a little lighter and heal from their story. This is not codependency, this is compassion.
it is confusing to experience abuse from those who say they love us. It makes love scary and often convinces us that isolation is safer than exposure to similar pain. Healing comes from naming:
(1) that was abuse not love.
(2) you are only meant for love.
securely attached people do what they say they will. They speak what they actually mean.
they are predictable and seen as boring by people who view negative intensity as love.